Book an appointment with The Relationship Institute

About AiKi

What is AiKi?
AiKi is the word we use to describe our approach to relationship counseling. (Click here to learn more about our program.) On this page, we explain the term AiKi.

Defining AiKi
Curious about the word AiKi? It may be familiar to you from the martial arts term “Aikido.” Here's how it breaks down:

The character (pronounced Ai (eye) in Japanese, in Mandarin, and Hap6 in Cantonese) means to join, to blend, to combine, to fit together.

The character (pronounced Ki (key) in Japanese, Qì/Chì in Mandarin, and Hei3 in Cantonese) suggests spirit, life force, energy, breath.

Together, those two characters, Ai and Ki, suggest joining the spirit, blending with another human being, without clashing. That concept of AiKi, blending without clashing, creating intimate connection without triggering your partner, is the foundation of this method.

Blending without clashing, practicing AiKi in your communication, means saying everything you need to say, hearing everything your partner needs say, not getting triggered, and not having arguments escalate into those ugly dramatic fights that leave both partners not speaking for days on end. 

Martial Arts for the Mind
What do we mean by the term "Martial Arts for the Mind"?

The martial arts are philosophically grounded in theories about awareness, predictive moves, and stepping away from trouble. 

AiKiDo, the model we reference in AiKi Relationship Training, is particularly focused on ideas such as resisting the natural tendency to defend in the same way we're attacked. Our AiKi technique teaches communication moves such as pulling when pushed, or pushing when pulled, or -- best of all -- stepping aside to avoid relational conflict altogether.

AiKi Relationship Training coaches you in techniques to manage your anxiety, sidestep verbal attacks, avoid quarrels over silly nonsense, and tackle problems without triggering your partner. Our techniques allow you to calmly stand up for yourself, and at the same time, stop escalation before it begins. 

We guarantee* that when couples use our techniques, they'll build intimacy and stop fighting. We're that confident.

(*Our guarantee is real. If our techniques don't seem to work for you, we discount the price of therapy, personal coaching, or event attendance by DOUBLE the price you paid for our materials.)