Tested Tools that Create Connection · (合氣) AiKi Martial Arts for the Mind
You are literally the scariest thing you can imagine. What else is there to fear? (FDR said it best: "There is nothing to fear but fear itself.")
Happy Halloween!
You're just a ghost, driving a skeleton draped in rotting meat to its death. Are other people's opinions really so scary?
Vous n'êtes qu'un fantôme, conduisant à sa mort un squelette drapé de viande pourrie. Les opinions des autres sont-elles vraiment si effrayantes ?
Arousal jags: They may explain your love of scary movies, roller coasters, and comedy. Laughter is a common method of releasing internal tension. Have you found yourself laughing at the wrong time?
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Arousal Jag
When tension rises, followed by a sudden fall, often accompanied by laughter. The pleasurable response may come from the quick drop from high levels of arousal to lower, more acceptable levels.
--One more way laughter is the best medicine
Jag d'excitation
Lorsque la tension monte, suivie d'une chute soudaine, souvent accompagnée de rires. La réponse agréable peut provenir de la chute rapide de niveaux élevés d'excitation à des niveaux plus bas et plus acceptables.
--Une autre façon dont le rire est le meilleur remède
I love the term "growth opportunity." It motivates me to find lessons in, to learn from, difficult circumstances.
Was there a time an apparent setback led to a better outcome for you? Share it on our Facebook page!
"There is no such thing as failure. What other people label...failure, I have learned is just God’s way of pointing you in a new direction."
--Oprah Winfrey, 2007 Howard University commencement address
"L'échec n'existe pas. Ce que les autres appellent... l'échec, j'ai appris qu'il s'agit simplement de la façon dont Dieu vous oriente dans une nouvelle direction."
--Oprah Winfrey, discours d'ouverture de l'Université Howard en 2007
Disagreement erupts into wars when people get triggered. Slowing down, buying time, is key to maintaining peace.
What do you say that calms triggered people?
We welcome your shares on our Facebook page!
How to Pause
Someone says something outrageous? Slow it down with:
"Hmmm. Interesting. So what you're saying is..."
Comment mettre en pause
Quelqu'un dit quelque chose de scandaleux ? Ralentissez avec :
"Hmmm. Intéressant. Donc ce que tu dis, c'est..."
Here's the truth: People who change their beliefs to match their behavior have lied to themselves until they found a sufficient excuse to do what they wanted. Nobody has to change their beliefs to match good behavior.
Does your brain ever lie to you? Confessions invited on our Facebook page!
When what you do doesn't match what you believe. It's unsustainable. To relieve internal tension, either the behavior will change, or the beliefs will.
Dissonance cognitive
Quand ce que vous faites ne correspond pas à ce que vous croyez, c'est insoutenable. Pour soulager la tension interne, soit le comportement changera, soit les croyances le feront.
Triangulation happens in therapy, too, where people try to draw the therapist into taking sides. Therapeutic side-taking is sometimes helpful, so long as the counselor is intentional, skillful, and not subject to manipulation.
Ever seen kids try to get between their parents? How did you respond? Please share on our Facebook page!
Triangulation
When two family or group members in conflict each attempt to draw another person to their side. Kids triangulate parents all the time, but it's especially destructive when parents in conflict catch a child in the middle.
Triangulation
Lorsque deux membres de la famille ou du groupe en conflit tentent chacun d'attirer une autre personne à leurs côtés. Les enfants triangulent tout le temps leurs parents, mais c'est particulièrement destructeur lorsque des parents en conflit attrapent un enfant au milieu.
"Senior moments" have an actual name: Benign Senescence.
My theory: Your brain can only store so much information in RAM, but your ROM is ridiculously good at holding on to stored data like your childhood phone number. The good news, though, is that forgetting is normal, not a sign of looming Alzheimer's.
Got a dumb senior moment you're itching to share?
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And for non-techies, RAM is random-access, or short-term, memory; ROM is read-only, or long-term, memory.
Benign Senescence
Brief memory impairments related to aging. Happens when trying to remember or learn new information, rather than recalling long-standing memories. Not linked to dementia.
Sénescence bénigne
Brèves troubles de la mémoire liés au vieillissement. Se produit lorsque vous essayez de vous souvenir ou d'apprendre de nouvelles informations, plutôt que de rappeler des souvenirs de longue date. Non lié à la démence.
Jury nullification can also happen when juries dislike a prosecutor, or when the person filing a civil lawsuit is unlikeable.
Has there been a time you faced a tough decision as a juror?
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When juries acquit people who definitely committed a crime. It happens if jury members think a conviction would be unfair or or would result in a harsh sentence they don'tt want to be connected with.
Citation: Crown v. John Peter Zenger, 1735
Annulation par le jury
Quand les jurys acquittent des personnes qui ont définitivement commis un crime. Cela se produit si les membres du jury estiment qu'une condamnation serait injuste ou entraînerait une peine sévère à laquelle ils ne veulent pas être associés.
The Lucifer Effect is a weird one! One example of this corrupting effect: The 1971 Stanford Prison Experiment, where participants randomly assigned to "guard" other participants became brutal.
Have you witnessed people abusing small amounts of power? Comment on our Facebook page!
Lucifer Effect
When unfair social conditions adversely alter human behavior. In this phenomenon, even moral people can be persuaded to act dishonorably and unethically by corrupting circumstances.
L'effet Lucifer
Lorsque des conditions sociales injustes modifient négativement le comportement humain. Dans ce phénomène, même les personnes éthiques peuvent être persuadées d'agir de manière déshonorante et contraire à l'éthique en corrompant les circonstances.
We sometimes pursue momentary happiness at the expense of profound joy -- which comes not of consumption and chaos, but of relational connection, creative accomplishment, meaningful service, harmonious living, and earned wisdom.
"The purpose of life is not to be happy—but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you lived at all."
― Leo Rosten
"Le but de la vie n'est pas d'être heureux, mais d'avoir de l'importance, d'être productif, d'être utile, de faire en sorte que cela fasse une différence que vous ayez vécu."
- Léo Rosten
No need to make excuses when you turn someone down. It's all about the gentle tone and regretful facial expression.
How to say 'no'
Need to decline an offer without feeling like a jerk? Try this: 'I wish I could, but I can't.' Smile regretfully, and change the topic.